kids hair: Not yet even "ex-wife" and dealing with hubby's girlfriend. Would you be mad?

OK...first off, DIVORCE SUCKS!!!! Im over the fact, that my "soon to be" ex husband has a g-f. SO WHAT HE HAS HAD LOTS OF THEM. The one that he has now, has been the most stable one. So for my kids sake I can only hope he keeps her for awhile, but I know him to well, and I really feel sorry for her. She thinks she has hit the jack pot, and that he is a great guy, and I know this b/c I was in her shoes EXACTLY, when I met him. He was married, and separated, and I thought he was cute, though, I did not persue him the night we met. He persued me weeks later. It was good, new. I had never met someone so into me. He went and bought me this awesome bracelet from Zales, He went out of his way for me by making mar car payments, GAVE 100.00 B/C he wanted to.

He was AWESOME. I fell hard!!

The only difference for her, is that he comes with two kids. I simply wouldn't have went out with him had he had kids, when I met him. Not that I didn't like kids at that time, but I would not want to "be labled a home wrecker". Now with that being said, I may have dated him, if he were DIVORCED... HUGE DIFFERENCE.

We had been back and forth and back and forth, about our marriage. "Are we gonna get back together, or stay apart." He would then date someone new. The girl he has now, she is like g/f # 3 ro 4 I can't remember, and in a very short time frame. I left him the last wk of july of 06.....and by Jan 07 he was dating someone else. He was going between g/f # 1 and # 2 and then when they would dump him he would come running to me. Like a freakin dumb *** ( that is me) we jumped in bed a cpl of times while separated.

On April 26th the night BEFORE our anniversary, he showed up, and things happened between us, and not but maybe a WK later, he shows up with this girl, and OMG.....I went nuts. He moved her in with him like a wk later from that time.....I was sooo hurt. I felt so bad for her, once I calmed down and seen the bigger picture. all this happened almost one yr ago. I knew he was telling her that I was a physco, and telling a lie, that we didn't have sex.....he had her won over. They are still together, and right now, im ok with that. At least she is stable, kind of....he hasn't made it past the one yr mark yet with her. He doesn't like and can't be alone, he never will be. The whole reason we were taking a "break" from each other was b/c he claimed he didn't expierience enough single time, during the separation from his FIRST ex-wife. The kicker is he never went alone from the time I left him....until now.

This majorly speeds me up to the present. While im used to the idea of her being "around" I have not taken the time to get to know her. I will have to soon, but I want to make sure she lasts. I feel for her, I wish I could say to her right now, "ask me what you want to know". I would tell her everything.....and I truly know him and how he would react. He prolly would be listening in, and contradicting me, and TOTALLY taking over the conversation......and then blowing off into the depend. He really looses it sometimes, when he feels he is being attacked, or when he is lieing.

This is what brings me to the question that I made my topic.

Over the weekend, Zack wanted his hair cut, but not buzzed. So I cut it for him, trying to leave it a little longer than I would normally want to.

He leaves to go and be with his dad, and comes back with it BUZZED. Yup, he took him to HAVE THE GAPS evened out. WHATEVER!!!! I felt insulted, and I could hear him in my head saying..."I wish she would leave his hair alone, she can't ******* cut hair" Then I find out that while dad was with zack target practicing the g/f had our daughter. Which brings me to my question. She is NOT yet a step parent, and I feel she has no right being alone with either one of my kids, Im the mother, not her. I feel that I bore them both and gave birth, what right does she have. NONE.....she is not on the certificate, she is not mentioned in my divorce......omg!!!!! Is this normal, I mean for me to feel this way. My daughter also mentioned that while g/f was playing the x-box she told my daughter that if she TOUCHED the buttons ( or something like that ) that she would spank her. I REALLY FEAR THE DAY SHE TOUCHES ONE OF MY KIDS...............I will friggin loose it!!!!!!!!!!! Once I do there will be no control. These kids are mine and his, noone elses. We are the only two to correct them. Now......if I were dead and they HAD NO MOTHER FIGURE WHAT SO EVER, that would be entirely different. However Im alive and kicking. I would go to hell and back for my kids. I love them wayyyyyyy too much for something like that to happen. The dumb thing is here, he is total playing this...I mean he knows me and how I would re-act....for God sakes, we were together for Nine yrs. He better know. Yet, he hasn't had the oppertunity to put his self in my shoes. I have not dated. My kids have not been around another man, or left alone with another man....and do you know what, even If I were, and He (the other man) threatned that he would spank my child, OH ****......I would go all kinds of nuts. I think this is the reason why I haven't dated, b/c im simply AVOIDING conflict. I don't know how to handle another man other than my "not even" ex-husband. ****.......how do I handle this, how do I control the rage Im feeling?????????? What would YOU do????????